
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Reviewd by: Michelle
ARC provided by author in exchange of honest review
☆☆☆☆☆ 5 TRISTAN STARS ☆☆☆☆☆

There aren’t enough words to describe how emotionally charged, riveting , touching and heartbreaking SHAME by Rachel Van Dyken is. Rachel is one of those authors for me who can completely capture and own you emotionally. She can take her readers on an emotional rollercoaster full of twist and turns where it can leave you stunned, break your heart, and have you shedding tears. But most importantly, she has this amazing gift in writing that can piece back the pieces of your heart and leave you with a big fat smile on your face. Shame is another book that I can happily say that Rachel will leave her readers breathless. We all the know the saying ‘Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.’ So what does Lisa have to be ashamed of? What is she hiding? It is said to not look back on our past, but move forward. But what happens when the past comes back haunting you and leaves you emotionally crippled? Be prepared to find out why Lisa’s past is SHAMED.

Our lives are a collections of stories, truths about who we are, what we believe, where we came from, how we struggled and how we survived. Our past is there for a reason. It does not define us but allows us to learn, to grow and and a reminder for us to move forward. When we can let go of what people think and own our story, we can gain access to fully loving ourselves. Owning your story and accepting it is one of the bravest things we will ever do. And for Lisa, she owned her story. Her story is full of regrets, mistakes, hurt, and brokenness. For Lisa, it is a story of SHAME.
Darkness.Hell. Despair. Regrets. Lost. Emotionally Crippled. Haunted. For Lisa, these words can describe her personal turmoil and hell. A living hell where the lines of the past and presents collide and gets blurred. A constant reminder that her past is full of shame and regrets. In Toxic, readers got a snippet of Lisa’s past. A past that comes back haunting her. A past that she tries hard to forget. So when the past comes barreling back, will Lisa continue to live in fear? Or will she finally own her story?
Journal entries of Lisa’s ex-boyfriend, Taylor B. begins each chapter. These journal entries are nothing but vindictive, cruel, malicious, spiteful, and just plain awful. In these entries, readers are finally exposed to the truth of Lisa’s past. Though Lisa is not perfect and ashamed of the things she has done but these entries gives us a glimpse into the life and torment she suffered from her emotionally abusive and controlling ex-boyfriend. The games he played and how he targeted on Lisa aka Mel’s insecurity and naivety. Simply Taylor was a bully and monster that she was trying to escape but somehow he would play on her emotions and put her down so she can join him in the darkness. A life of SHAME. So when she finally thought she was freed from him physically, the past comes barreling back like a bulldozer and emotionally crippling her from living.

When the past reemerges, Lisa begins to slowly fade back into living with fear, regrets, and shame. Behind the walls, lies a broken girl wanting to be free. Free of her past, free from her memories of Taylor, and most importantly free of her demons and shame. When darkness begins to creep back in, a light of hope begins to shine down on Lisa with the help and support from her friends, Wes, Kiersten, Gabe, Saylor and most importantly with the help from Tristan, her college professor. Tristan was the beacon of light for Lisa. He made her FEEL. For so long, Taylor took away her power and made her feel of little value. He took away her happiness, love, hope and living. And when Tristan enters into the picture, he gave Lisa back the control she needs. The will to face her life, own her mistakes and regrets and the power to love again. Will Tristan be able to fill Lisa’s life with light and love? Or will their forbidden romance be another thing to add to Lisa’s pile of Shame?

Shame is a story that must be experienced like the first two books of the Ruin Series. There are not enough words to describe how beautiful heartbreaking and moving this book is. Shame is simply RAW. The truth hurts. The past cannot be changed. Mistakes and regrets are a lessons to be learned. And everyone has lived a life of SHAME. This book is filled with suspense, surprises, friendship, heartbreak, and love. What I truly love about this book it reminds us all the past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased. It can only be accepted. It should not define, destroy, deter, or defeat you. It should only strengthen you to be a better person inside and out. Shame broke my heart, twisted it and slowly piece by piece taped it back together. Be prepared to LIVE, LAUGH, and LOVE. And most importantly it reminds us all, don’t live in the past, you have already been there.
Rachel Van Dyken